


Unexpected Consequences

by kyuuketsukirui



Category: lotrips
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-22
Updated: 2005-10-22
Packaged: 2017-10-05 09:02:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyuuketsukirui/pseuds/kyuuketsukirui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dom finds out Elijah is an alien and freaks out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unexpected Consequences

"Wait," Dom says, sticking his finger in his ear and twisting vigorously. "I think something's gone funny with my hearing. Cos it sounded like you said we're mated for life."

Elijah just stares back at him, blinking owlishly.

"So..." Pushing himself up on his elbow, Dom pokes Elijah in the chest. "Now's the time when you tell me what you really said. Something that rhymes with mated for life, maybe?" he adds hopefully, though he can't think of anything that might sound like that. Well, he can, but 'rated your wife' doesn't really make much sense in the context.

_Then again_, he thinks, _neither does 'mated for life'._

"But that _is_ what I said." Lij beams. "It's...well, it's all rather complicated."

"You're telling me!"

"Look, I couldn't tell you before," Lij says earnestly, "but now that you're my lifemate-"

"Lifemate!?"

"-there's no reason to keep secrets from you...well, actually that's one of the things. I _can't_ keep secrets from you."

"You can if you want to do," Dom says, in a tone of voice that implies all sorts of things about Elijah's mental state, none of them complimentary. "In fact, I insist."

"No," Elijah shakes his head, "no, I mean I really can't. Don't you feel it?"

"Feel what?" Dom asks suspiciously.

"The bond!"

"What bond?"

"The mating bond."

The thing is, now that Elijah's mentioned it, Dom _can_ feel something. "Erm. What...what does this whole mating bond thing involve, actually?"

"Well, my people- It's a thing, like...I dunno, just a thing." Elijah pushes himself into a sitting position and waves his hands. "You _know_."

Dom doesn't. Not at all. He knits his brow, eyes darting from side to side as he tries to make sense of Elijah's ramblings. "Your people? What, like...Yanks?"

"God, no, of course not. Don't be silly." Elijah shakes his head, looking rather exasperated. "Anyway, my mom told me all about it. I forget a lot of the details, but basically the first person I fuck after reaching adulthood is my mate for life. That's the part she was always drilling into me, obviously, I mean, cause, whew, gotta be careful there or you'll be stuck with, I dunno, some guy in a public restroom."

"Your mum said that?" Dom blanches.

"Well, not in so many words. And, well, I think she expected you'd be a girl, bu-"

"_I'd_ be a _girl_?"

"My mate, I mean."

Dom bolts straight up, turns to Elijah, planting his hands on Elijah's shoulders and looking him straight in the eye. "Lij...you keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means."

"I'm trying to be fucking serious here, Dom!"

"I have to uh..."

Elijah looks at him.

"Uh..." _I can't keep secrets from you._ "I uh...I have to piss, yeah." It's not a lie; Dom's sure if he's in there long enough, he could do. "So...I'll just," he slides slowly out of bed as if trying not to startle a wild animal, "berightback," and then dashes to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Don't take too long, Dommie."

"Oh, I won't." _Take too long to get out of here, that is,_ Dom thinks. _Bloody hell, what have I got myself into?_

The window is big enough, barely, but the drop is four storeys straight down. Dom sits down heavily on the toilet and wonders why he didn't go home with Billy instead.

* * *

Billy shrugs when Dom tells him, and says, "Better you than me, mate." Billy is no help at all.

As soon as they're done for the day, Elijah makes a beeline for Dom. There's nowhere to hide except behind Billy the Traitor, and anyway, Elijah's already spotted him. Dom wonders if Elijah can sense him now or something. The thought leaves him feeling slightly ill.

He eyes Elijah (as best he can with Elijah glued to his arm like this) and tries to figure out if he's glowing or just sweaty.

Billy had said, "Did you ever watch Alien Nation?" and when Dom shook his head no, Billy's grin just widened. "It was about these aliens, and the thing was, the men were the ones who got pregnant."

Dom just stuck his fingers in his ears and screwed his eyes shut and said, "Lalala, I can't hear you," but that didn't stop Billy.

"Your Elijah there, he might be some sort of alien." Dom had to admit if anyone was an alien, it would be Elijah. Those eyes just weren't natural. "Think about it. He called you his mate. What if he's-"

"We used condoms," Dom said quickly. "Besides, he's not _my_ anything, and anyway, I was the one who - you know."

Billy's eyebrows shot up at that, but he recovered quickly and said, with what Dom thought was a rather Viggoish air, "You never know with aliens."

Dom is beginning to suspect that Billy is enjoying this entirely too much. And when Billy comes over now and puts his hand on Elijah's shoulder, when his brow furrows in concern - entirely feigned, Dom thinks - and he says, "Elijah, mate, you're looking a wee bit peaked," Dom's suspicions are confirmed. In fact, when he looks closely, there's an odd tick at the corner of Billy's mouth, like he's just short of cracking up.

Well, Billy may think it's amusing, but he's not the one who has to deal with the possibility of being permanently bonded to a pregnant alien! Dom glowers at Billy and says, "Don't listen to him, Lij, you look just fine." Arm around Elijah, he pulls him away from Billy and says, "You feel fine, right? No, er...odd cravings?"

"Cravings?" Elijah blinks at him. No, those eyes are definitely not human. Elijah's mouth twists up in that way that up until just yesterday always made Dom want to kiss him. "I am kinda hungry, now that you mention it. I wonder if anyone's got any of those Tim Tams."

"That's not what I-"

But Elijah just ploughs right ahead - "I could just, like, pig out on that shit til I die." - his foul mouth, as always, at odds with his angelic looks. Dom still finds it oddly endearing despite himself.

"Couldn't you?"

"Couldn't I what?" Dom says, shaking himself out of his contemplation of Elijah's profile.

"Eat box after box of those fucking Tim Tams til you puke."

"Morning sickness," Billy coughs, and Dom just glares at him.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Actually no," Billy says. "But I think I've got some Tim Tams back at my flat."

Elijah bounces, jumping onto Billy's back and hugging him tight. "You rock!"

Dom is more than a little annoyed to find himself jealous.

They leave Billy's hours later, and by then Elijah is drunk and chocolaty and hanging on Dom's arm as they stumble into Dom's flat. Dom is drunk, too, and horny, which is why he's allowed Elijah back here at all, really. He definitely wouldn't be doing this if he weren't desperate for a shag. He does _not_ have any interest in aliens, or in being anyone's mate. Even if that alien someone is beautiful and a great lay, to boot.

"Should you really be drinking?" Dom asks suddenly, pulling Elijah's hands out of his trousers.

"Uh..." Elijah blinks. "I think you should be naked." And he wriggles out of Dom's grasp and starts tugging Dom's shirt over his head.

"No, I mean. Oh..." Dom's shirt is off and Elijah's dropping to his knees and now, Dom realises, is really not the time to be worrying about Billy's (probably) stupid ideas.

He's back to worrying afterwards, though, when they're both spent and sweaty and sprawled out on the sofa. "I mean it," he says, poking Elijah with a toe. "About the drinking."

"I'm old enough!" Elijah says defensively. "And you never complained before."

"No, it's not that, er. It's just." Dom scoots closer, going up on his knees and planting his hands on Elijah's shoulders, looking him in the eye when the truth is he'd rather be looking anywhere else. "You'renotpregnantareyou?"

"What?" Elijah gapes at him, then giggles, high-pitched and contagious, and soon they're both laughing so hard it hurts. "God, no," Elijah says, wiping his eyes. "What the fuck made you think that? I mean," he grabs his cock and balls, "in case you hadn't noticed..."

"It's Billy's fault," Dom groans. and now he wonders whether the whole thing had been a dream, because Elijah's certainly acting normal enough now. "Like, cause you're... With the mating thing, and he said..."

"He was just yanking your chain, man." Dom waits for Elijah to say he was, too, that it was all a joke, but he doesn't, he just says, "Jesus. Pregnant," and shakes his head.

"So," Elijah says, after a few moments, "you're gonna come back to LA with me and meet my mom and Hannah and stuff, right?"

Dom is somewhat surprised to find himself nodding, and he wonders what Elijah's done to him. Some sort of hypnotism, maybe, mind control with those big eyes of his.

In the morning, Dom wakes to a hand on his cock and Elijah smiling down at him, and as Elijah kisses him, Dom realises mind control or not, he's too far gone to care anymore.


End file.
